Forever and a day

This is the problem with not blogging for a while - it is easy to get overwhelmed with reporting all the goings on. So, I think I'll give a few highlights and then talk about something else - everybody good with that?

- Ummm, so Mike's at the ER this morning! When I was at the gym he totally sliced his finger open, like, to the bone. He was being so sweet and starting to clean some dishes and, apparently, super-sharp knives from our Father's Day dinner last night when he sliced his poor finger. No word yet, but he was able to drive himself which made me think that there hadn't been too much blood loss.

- We had our 5 year anniversary on the 8th! Mike planned a really sweet weekend for us; we spent the night in the same hotel we had our wedding night at. There was a fireplace in our room, a balcony overlooking the river, the Most Comfortable Bed Ever, and milk and cookies before bed. It was amazing to spend so much time together away from distractions - just reconnecting and recharging. I fall for Mike more and more and am continually astounded by the man God is growing him to be. There are so many times where he just takes my breath away - with his thoughtfulness, his wisdom, his leadership, his perspective. I seriously Cherish him and know that God has given me the best husband ever. And, I don't mean that in a silly, Hallmark kind of way - I am partnered with someone who is out-of-this-world special and I feel so privileged to be a part of this team.

- Some other news: Mike has been named Interim Director of Marketing for the Elgin Symphony. It's a pretty awesome opportunity and is going to be challenging and fun for Mike. God just keeps giving us evidence that He is faithful and taking care of us - I'm just resting in the peace of knowing that His plan is perfect for our family.

- Clara is blossoming - can a 20 month old blossom? I think so...she is Amazing. The more I see of her sweet little heart, the more I fall for her. This topic is going to take a whole other blog post, i think, so we'll leave it at that for now.

Okay, and there is one thing I want to share - something that, for me to share, takes a big chunk out of my pride. It's a prayer request, of sorts. A struggle, of sorts. So, I like Desperately long for another child. And have, now, for months. Mike does, too. Ever since Clara was 7 or 8 months old is when this started, but this longing has crazy intensified especially since January or so. Mike, in the most loving and sacrificial way, said that I really need to get healthier before we can think about having another kid. And, in his sweet, gentle way, he put his foot down. And I'm so Grateful - it's such a picture to me of God's love. I've been working on this for about 3 1/2 months - going to Weight Watchers, going to the gym - and am doing well enough. I've lost almost 20 pounds and I'm certain my heart is stronger from all the exercising. Initially, we were going to re-evaluate around Clara's birthday - that would make it 6 months for me on this plan. I've since come to realize that I need to get down to a certain weight (not as low as I hope to eventually get, an in between weight), a certain number. And, it's going to take longer - like I'm hoping by January I'll be close. Anyway, I'm just dealing with it - could use your prayers about it. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed. And, I'm feeling so sad that this sin of mine is preventing us from moving forward in our family. Because of my choices to sin, day in and day out for years, I must now deal with the fact that I'm standing in the way of our family's ability to grow. It's heartbreaking and shameful. I know that what Jesus did for me on the cross is bigger than this sin and that through Him I can conquer it. And I also know that God has the perfect family for us - that each kid is going to come at the perfect time for them and for us. It's just hard, you know? Longing for something that is out of reach. Uggh. Yeah, so, prayers - thanks y'all.