The Weirdest Day

I have had the Weirdest day today. Some of it means something, some of it doesn't. It's just been weird and oddly impactful. I woke up this morning - late - and decided to half dream/half imagine the rest of my morning away. You know that state - where you can keep your dreams going, just to see where they'll take you..but you're kind of awake at the same time? I dreamed about my friend Aaron who has this Amazing flute job (he does, in real life) - and I was So Jealous. Like, so jealous of him and this amazing job he has and this free life he leads. It was nice to think about him, but so odd because I was super jealous at the same time. Then, as we were driving to church, I was moved to tears because Clara was singing to David Crowder Band in the backseat. Ah, this is what matters, this is what is real and amazing, not some dumb flute job. Part of our pastor's message today was regarding how Real God is. And, in the midst of this, all I can think about is Mike dying. I Never think about that - I don't know, my brain just never goes there. And, again, the tears...I was so, so sad. But, I also had this sense of Urgency. I can't screw around here, with this life, with this time. What I do Matters, a lot. I think that Walt's message really struck a nerve. It is so easy for "spiritual things" to be hazy for me. Like, God's doing this work in me...changing my heart, growing me...and it is very real, but also very hazy. I have all this evidence of the things that God has changed in me, things that He has done in my life and the life of my family. Evidence which, in my mind, is utterly indisputable in terms of proving God. Yet, this spiritual walk I'm on can be, kinda hazy. Well, today I was overcome with a sense of urgency - like I need to get my *&^% together! I need to start being obediant and faithful because - it matters. Like, there are really tangible things God needs to get in place in me and it is really important that I help Him with that. And then all I could think was: I need to practice. What?! You'd think I'd be overcome with cherishing the time I have with my family, but no, all I could think was I need to practice? Crazy Urgency. Then, this evening I was driving home, listening to this David Crowder song that I love, daydreaming about Mike having a heart-attack while giving Clara a bath and they both died when...three deer (this part really did happen) jumped in front of my car. Granted, I was going 30 miles an hour - but they were litterally 2 feet in front of me. I tell ya - it was the weirdest day. Anyway...fun times inside of Katie's head.