the story of a girl and her flute

I've been wanting to write about this for weeks, but have been at a loss as to how to begin. I know this will be cheesy and bad writing and all the rest, but it's a place to start anyway.

There once was a girl named Katie who learned how to play the flute. She was pretty good at it, received lots of wonderful instruction, and grew to think of herself as quite gifted. She began to think of music as a god - where truth and beauty reside, a noble pursuit - and felt quite satisfied that her life was devoted to something so perfect. It made her wonderful, it filled up empty spaces inside her, and gave her meaning. Then, this girl learned where Truth and Beauty and Meaning really reside - in the heart of the one, true God. Unfortunately, after so many years of being proud of herself for her abilities and accomplishments on the flute, it took many more years for Katie to understand that, in her own strength, she can do Nothing. (John 15:5, Gal 6:3) And so God broke her. He took it all away. After bringing her to a place of loneliness and ruin, He showed her where Meaning lies. In Him. It is from that place that He has started to rebuild, brick by brick, Katie's life into one that has Him at the center.

I went to a concert last spring - Mahler 5. Mike has been teaching me to listen for the artistry of the composer when I listen to music, rather than being prideful and pointing out all the mistakes I hear and being overly critical. I was listening to Mahler (and, people, it was not a great performance) and I started weeping. At the beginning of the second movement, I could not stop. It was so Beautiful and I think God woke up a part of me that has been sleeping for a long time. All I could think was how much I miss music. There is something wired into me with music - it just makes sense to me, feels like a language (as cheesy as it sounds). Not only a language, but my perfect language. God stirred up in me a desire to speak it again. But with one profound difference - to speak it to Him. I realized that music is created by Him. This profound expression can be used to glorify and praise Him. Even my scales, my long tones - all prayers to the One who created them. What an Amazing Privilege that I have been given - to be able to worship God this way! I had tried, with all sincere effort, to make music for God - but He had to write it on my heart, and it took a lot more than my sincere efforts. And, now, God has given me a passion for the people who make music. That maybe I could be a little light for Him in the field, that He could use me. That, my friends, is motivating! I still don't know what God has planned, but I know that I need to step out in faith. And, practice my butt off!